Monday, 27 June 2011

The Unholy Trinity

The Unholy Trinity, the three greatest enemies of OnLive, which are EA, Gaikai and Eurogamer. Let me go into detail about all of them.

1. Judas. Yes, that's you EA. Well, EA was prominently featured in the onlive beta period with games like Crysis, Mirror's Edge and Burnout Paradise. EA was also the biggest publishing partner at onlive's launch @E3 2010 with Dragon Age and Mass Effect 2. Then suddenly a deal of Judas and my number two of this list was announced and all the games from Judas were pulled from onlive, to the anger of many onlive users who were eagerly anticipating to play EA's big games. Judas still remains on onlive's partner page, which is fitting. Judas wants to copulate with Gaikai and make it his bitch. From the beginning of his existence Judas wanted to make all his bitch, but lately another started to piss off gamers, so Judas decided to play nice as is fitting again. But, as Judas is starting to grow balls again, he falls back into his old habits, old habits die hard.

Here's Judas' CEO John Riccitiello in his fitting uniform.

2. Mudslinger. Yes, i mean you Gaikai. Our mudslinger likes to throw dirt at onlive. He also likes to mate with many partners, which isn't to Judas' liking, but he tolerates it, you already know what's coming, because old habits die hard. Our mudslinger recently mated with my number three on this list.

Here's Gaikai's CEO of Shiny Entertainment fame, Dave Perry. The smile says it all.

3. Hypocrite. Yes, why are you hiding, step forward Eurogamer. First our hypocrite says that onlive can't possibly work, then he says that when cloud gaming comes from our mudslinger it has to work and now he's suddenly mating with said mudslinger.

And last, Eurogamer's most vocal member, Richard Leadbetter. Do i really need words.

Well, aren't they a happy little family.

I'm a longtime fan of L'Inq and their cheeky style. So, one who reads this article shouldn't take it to seriously, but then, who knows.